July 23, 2015 MBI
July 23, 2015

Diane Haddad, Analytical Chemistry

Diane came to Earth, near Kalamo, MI (population 26 old people), in the mid-1960s. She soon settled into a frugal, sheltered, rural life—which is not quite the same as bloody boring, but pretty close.

During the technology boon of the late ‘80s and ‘90s, when Anthrax was just a band, Diane devoted her time to the Hospitality Industry. Mastering every position in a well-known restaurant chain, she contented herself with Restaurant Management for 20+ years. Her milestone achievements: over 1,500,000 eggs cracked and served up hot (not a joke, nor an exaggeration), along with beautifully and respectfully smiling every single day, at every single guest—no easy task if dealing with weenies and the general public. She was finally ready to embrace a mid-life career change.

Today, Diane holds a Bachelor of Applied Science in Environmental Technology and spends much of her day doing sample prep and analysis. Thick and viscous, loose and stringy, odoriferous enough to bring tears to her eyes: Diane tests them all, using state of the art analytical instruments at MBI. She then serves up the compiled data onto neat, concise spreadsheets for your reading enjoyment!

Ever the optimist, Diane enjoys witty banter and keeping the lab lively—she’s known to hide an incredibly realistic, however stuffed, rat under an unsuspecting co-workers desk. She lives for the human reactions, like gasps and small shrieks, which never fail to amuse and brighten her day. Diane loves new challenges and thinking “outside the box.” Be sure to look for her new publications, 101 Other Uses for a Safety Harness and The Amazing Adventures of Lab Rat, both coming soon to a downloadable PDF near you.